Tucking Awesome

If you have to tuck your tie in your shirt to sit and eat lunch, what say you stick to food you eat from the jar until this whole teething thing passes.

Perhaps strained carrots or peas?

Ditto for Tie-Over-The Shoulder guys.

Elimi-Date

If your husband's family just started walking upright and he will shave his back for Dale Earnhardt, but not you....

You are not married to a sports enthusiast, you're married to a homosexual caveman!

By the way, why don't people at Nascar races wear shirts? I have been in the South a crapload of times and everyone is as well-dressed and pleasant as can be.

Urban Campers

If you camp outside in freezing late-November weather, braving: cold, wind, rain, sleet and snow....

If you brave the countless insults from: Mall cops, police officers, store employees and news anchors....

If you refuse: warmth, running water, cooking gas, a normal bed, a change of clothes and normal food....

If you choose to ignore: your work schedule, girlfriend, wife, husband, crying children, friends and neighbors....

If you are up to the challenge of fighting: parking lot pigeons, seagulls, rats, criminals and hobos....

If you are willing to skip: your annual family gathering, the Holiday play at your nephew's school, all the great football on television and your mother's famous turkey stuffing....

To camp outside Best Buy for a few days, all in the name of saving $11 on an iPod, I have news for you...

YOU CAN'T AFFORD AN iPOD!!!

Or a plasma television, or a laptop.

That money needs to go to counseling!

LOO-HOO-HOO, ZER!

One Of Life's Great Treats

Treat yourself to one of life's great treats.

If you are in the vicinity of the Peninsula Hotel, just a block west of Michigan Ave. at Superior, there is no way you should pass up Pierrot Gourmet's, WORLDS BEST HOT CIDER!

They regulate the temperature of the cider to the outdoor temp. So if it is very cold, the cider is made very hot. However, if the temp is more mild like today's lows 40's, the cider is served hot, but at a drinkable temperature.

The crew knows a bit about the temperature because the drink stand is OUTSIDE the restaurant. Warm friendly faces and attitudes to match make this a stop every Chicagoan and tourist should put on your schedule.

The Hot Cocoa, served with a semi-sweet chocolate plastic stirring spoon, also cannot be beat.

Notice also, they maintain their 5-Star standards (hello authentic sterling silver carafes), even outdoors.

Yum Yum for your tum!

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

I saw Slumdog Millionaire this morning.

Without seeing any other contender, Doubt included, I am certain it is the Best Movie of 2008. I really don't care if it wins an Oscar or Golden Globe. It would be nice if the Academy recognized this work of art, but if not, so what.

I can reveal nothing about the film, except my being aware very early on, perhaps four to five minutes in, that I was witnessing a masterpiece.

The movie's Director, Danny Boyle, has now managed, in six short years, to give us 28 Days Later, Millions and now, Slumdog Millionaire.

If someone wants to tell me another director with a resume of three more; original, engrossing and vastly different films since 2002, I await your call breathlessly.

There is no question now, he is among the creative geniuses of the genre. 

All that said, not even his direction matches the performances of the cast of Slumdog Millionaire. Almost every face will be fresh to Western audiences, but I found myself on several occasions thinking of how much more salary the Nicole Kidman's of the world command for much less-impactful work. 

As stated before, I will give you nothing of the plot. The less you know walking in, the more rewarding the experience. 

I was fortunate enough to share the experience with the love of my life. We both found it to be an unforgettable pleasure.

Now go! BUY TICKETS HERE.

#10 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

Midnight Cowboy

On a steamy early-September evening in 1974, Jon Voight gave the performance of a lifetime. Proof of his greatness arrived on June 4, 1975, in the (very fine) form of his daughter, Angelina Jolie Voight (Pitt).

His only other worthwhile contribution to society is Midnight Cowboy, an unsettling look at a midwestern  farm boy's hard path to stardom in the big city.

Dustin Hoffman is along for the ride, giving an unforgettable performance as Ratso Rizzo.

I love it, so you will too.

Trailer here:

Buy it HERE.

#9 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

Babette's Feast

A mysterious stranger comes to an isolated village and attempts to change the lives of it's aging populace.

Generic, I know, but few films work on this level.

If you like food, wine and family relationships, Babette's Feast will be such a unique treat.

One thing, this will NOT be for everyone. So steer clear if the trailer throws you, but those that stay will be rewarded.

Trailer here:

Buy it HERE.

#8 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

The Elephant Man

Yes, we all had to watch this in Social Studies as kids. Yes it was boring and weird when we were young. However, now that we are little older, the movie takes on new meaning, revealing a texture not available to us as youths.

The Elephant Man is a true story, which makes it all the more amazing. But the truly amazing thing is that it introduced us all to one Sir Anthony Hopkins AND Adagio for Strings in one movie.

I defy you to name another film that has achieved this distinction.

Trailer here

Buy it HERE.

#7 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

Barbarian Invasions

Can a film movie about dying be fun? Yes, of course it can. If you choose to treat the subject in a dignified manner and you envelope a great script with a strong ensemble cast.

Barbarian Invasions does this and more. I have not cried this much since I had to sleep in a chopped onion factory as a kid.

Here is the trailer:

Buy it HERE.

#6 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

Papillon

This film is why so many people miss Steve McQueen. And at the same time, it's why I have no problem with Dustin Hoffman cashing his check for THIS DRECK.

Every good movie list has a prison film on it, so here is mine.

Here's the trailer:

Buy it HERE.