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Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

I saw Slumdog Millionaire this morning.

Without seeing any other contender, Doubt included, I am certain it is the Best Movie of 2008. I really don't care if it wins an Oscar or Golden Globe. It would be nice if the Academy recognized this work of art, but if not, so what.

I can reveal nothing about the film, except my being aware very early on, perhaps four to five minutes in, that I was witnessing a masterpiece.

The movie's Director, Danny Boyle, has now managed, in six short years, to give us 28 Days Later, Millions and now, Slumdog Millionaire.

If someone wants to tell me another director with a resume of three more; original, engrossing and vastly different films since 2002, I await your call breathlessly.

There is no question now, he is among the creative geniuses of the genre. 

All that said, not even his direction matches the performances of the cast of Slumdog Millionaire. Almost every face will be fresh to Western audiences, but I found myself on several occasions thinking of how much more salary the Nicole Kidman's of the world command for much less-impactful work. 

As stated before, I will give you nothing of the plot. The less you know walking in, the more rewarding the experience. 

I was fortunate enough to share the experience with the love of my life. We both found it to be an unforgettable pleasure.

Now go! BUY TICKETS HERE.

#10 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

Midnight Cowboy

On a steamy early-September evening in 1974, Jon Voight gave the performance of a lifetime. Proof of his greatness arrived on June 4, 1975, in the (very fine) form of his daughter, Angelina Jolie Voight (Pitt).

His only other worthwhile contribution to society is Midnight Cowboy, an unsettling look at a midwestern  farm boy's hard path to stardom in the big city.

Dustin Hoffman is along for the ride, giving an unforgettable performance as Ratso Rizzo.

I love it, so you will too.

Trailer here:

Buy it HERE.

#9 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

Babette's Feast

A mysterious stranger comes to an isolated village and attempts to change the lives of it's aging populace.

Generic, I know, but few films work on this level.

If you like food, wine and family relationships, Babette's Feast will be such a unique treat.

One thing, this will NOT be for everyone. So steer clear if the trailer throws you, but those that stay will be rewarded.

Trailer here:

Buy it HERE.

#8 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

The Elephant Man

Yes, we all had to watch this in Social Studies as kids. Yes it was boring and weird when we were young. However, now that we are little older, the movie takes on new meaning, revealing a texture not available to us as youths.

The Elephant Man is a true story, which makes it all the more amazing. But the truly amazing thing is that it introduced us all to one Sir Anthony Hopkins AND Adagio for Strings in one movie.

I defy you to name another film that has achieved this distinction.

Trailer here

Buy it HERE.

#7 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

Barbarian Invasions

Can a film movie about dying be fun? Yes, of course it can. If you choose to treat the subject in a dignified manner and you envelope a great script with a strong ensemble cast.

Barbarian Invasions does this and more. I have not cried this much since I had to sleep in a chopped onion factory as a kid.

Here is the trailer:

Buy it HERE.

#6 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

Papillon

This film is why so many people miss Steve McQueen. And at the same time, it's why I have no problem with Dustin Hoffman cashing his check for THIS DRECK.

Every good movie list has a prison film on it, so here is mine.

Here's the trailer:

Buy it HERE.

#5 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

There Will Be Blood

When a movie this good grosses $40 million dollars with all the Oscar buzz it had last year, I know most people have not seen it. That gross is on par with the Vin Diesel film Pitch Black, a movie nobody I know has seen, or will at least admit they have seen. So There Will Be Blood belongs on the list, and I though of putting it closer to the top.

The box-office obstacles for this tour-de-force were many:

• Length, at 2 hours 38 minutes
  
• A director known for requiring ADD to be checked at the door during the "fun" Holiday Movie Season.
  
• A plot surrounding oil, when gas prices were at record highs throughout the United States.
  

All of which does not excuse the public for not beating a path to it's (theatrical) door.

Paul Thomas Anderson, in just under three hours running time, lays out the framework for how the West was really won; through hard work, determination, unbending, unwavering faith in yourself, followed by incalculable degrees of cut-throat cunning, con-jobbing, organizing, expanding and monopolizing, followed ultimately by paranoia. 

All of these traits are not just present, but embodied in the soul of precious metals-miner, turned oil prospector Daniel Plainview. Daniel Day-Lewis is so convincing in the role, I could not imagine shaking his hand without thinking he is about to go upside my head with some nearby object. 

Anderson sets the story in turn of the century Texas, with many scenes in the first 45 minutes involving little to no dialogue. While many decried this as pompous, I think the sparse dialogue is what makes the movie work. For Paul Dano's thunderously verbose portrayal is all the more potent when released into this vacuum.

The scenes of Plainview developing his ability to manipulate those he needs over the landscape of the film is both, worth the price of admission and difficult to watch, as you can see by the glint in his eye, he knows he's on to something.

The only caveat to There Will Be Blood is, those who are more intricately aware of American history will get loads more from the film. However, there is more than enough there for everyone.

Last thing, the soundtrack stayed with me longer than any other, once I left the cinema, since Grizzly Man.

Buy it HERE.

#4 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

Ratatouille

This is only here because so many people I know do not have children and consequently, have steered clear of the entire Pixar catalogue.

Take it from me, the minute you have children, you will come to thank Pixar, the only movie studio that regularly creates entertainment for the entire family.

Anyway, Ratatouille is not a great family film, it is truly a great film.

A young man who cannot cook finds work in an once-great restaurant. After he is charged with disposing of a recently trapped rodent, but cannot bring himself to carry out the execution. The resulting bond of this decision is developed against the back-drop of several different plot twists. 

If you are a human (and I assume you are if you are reading this blog) and veeeeeery strong, you may get through the last five minutes without tears, the fourth time you watch. By then it becomes just heart-warming. 

Director Brad Bird delivered what I consider to be the best movie in the Pixar catalogue (though I think Wall-E is much more cerebral). A beautiful film that leaves no stone unturned in attention to detail. This kitchen tale comes alive at the outset and remains so throughout.

Buy it HERE. And watch all the extras, they are as good as the film.

#3 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

City Of God

For all the accolades showered upon Al Pacino for his portrayal of Tony Montana, and Javier Bardem as Anton Chigre in No Country for Old Men, Lendro Firmino's turn as Lil Ze in City of God outpaces both in sheer menace.

There are a considerable number of scenes during the film where you find yourself asking, "where'd they find this animal." He is brooding, terrifying, unsettling and, ultimately, an emotional train-wreck.

His portrayal is epic, but believe it or not, the story is even stronger. Two friends come of age in a world you and I pray we never visit in our dreams, the slums of Rio. They end up on two very different paths, while remaining dependent upon one another as trusting friends.

Suffice it to say, this movie will redefine your views of your nephew's "bad" behaviour, for these kids live on a moral plane reserved exclusively for the incarcerated.

 

The rest you will need to see, but I can state emphatically how I was floored when this did not walk away with the Oscar for Best Picture. 

Equal parts poignant, vicious and mind-blowing. This will disappoint only the most simple-minded of people.

Buy it HERE.

#2 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

A Face in the Crowd

The first thing to know about this movie is, the star role is played by Andy Griffith.

The second thing you should know is, you will never watch "The Andy Griffith Show", or television for that matter, in the same light again.

In 1957, the Elia Kazan-directed, Budd Schulberg-written A Face in the Crowd, hit movie theaters. I have no idea what the impact of this film was on the general public back then. I cannot imagine this movie could have been as meaningful then, as it so obviously is today.

It covers, in no ambiguous terms:

Alcoholism

Adultery

The early days of Television

Corporate greed

The underside of politics

Mass media deception

Egomaniacal celebrity

Using "small-town values" to sell villainy 

Underage sexual depravity

Sexual Predation 

Apologist relationships

I could go on, but I am trying to give away none of the plot.

All I will say is that it is unyielding, and you must see it. Disturbing from the minute the opening credits start, to the minute they close the picture.

Kazan may have ratted out all his buddies, but he did leave a piece of art for which we all owe him a bit of thanks.

Buy it HERE

#1 Best Movie You Have Never Seen

Dodsworth

William Wyler's 1936 masterpiece gives us so much to consider, you are left wanting to watch the movie again, immediately.

Dodsworth is an extraordinarily brave and mature look at the decisions we all make in our lives. There are several, literally, cringe inducing scenes which spark feelings of deep resentment towards multiple characters. The easy road is constantly made available throughout this masterful script, but Wyler instead chooses to take another, the one most people go to the cinema to forget about.

Of course this is the essence of it's greatness. The fact he chooses to show the great fragility of human nature which allows us to spray perfume on an essentially dead carcass, because we have become accustomed to it's presence.

Walter Huston is magnificent as a recently-retired auto tycoon, not quite sure what to do with himself. And Ruth Chatterton is outstanding in the role of his wife, a woman thumbscrews are too good a punishment for.

Watch this movie with your lover and you will come out of the experience all the better for having done it together.

Buy it HERE.

Christian Bale is Bankable and AWESOME!!!!

Next May, go see the most realistic actor in America, Christian Bale.
He made me believe in "the Bat", so his John Conner will be unbelievable!!!!



AWAESOME!!!!

Literary Geniuses

I can't stand when I am telling someone how awesome a movie I watched was and they interrupt my excitement to tell me, "the book was better."

I know that, fool! That is why they probably decided to make it into a movie. You ever think of that?

As confessed on a previous post, I do not read fiction. Every person that knows me, knows it. So when I am talking about how awesome "Ready To (Puke!) Launch" was, I don't need someone illuminating it's missing qualities as compared to the book. 

Here is a novel way to share your exuberance, tell me about your amazing book before it is made into a movie. I halfway wanted to read Cormac McCarthy's, The Road because so many people loved the book and told me so, even before it became Oprah's big deal. Dicsovering he also had written No Country for Old Men, another movie I love, almost sent me running off to my local Barnes & Noble.

Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed and I can just wait for the movie, to see how the world looks when it comes to an end.

So people, please! When I am simply trying to make a suggestion of how to spend a couple of hours on a cold winter's night, please don't throw out this old, tired cliche. 

I know you can read.

I know that you read.

Now, because of this post, you can read my mind. 

The world needs more readers, so spend more time here, with us, than up your own ass.

Someone Tell Me More...

About this Movie, 2012!

Um, Star Trek Looks Pretty Good.

J.J. Abrams, you're a bad man.

Bare Essentials

I watched a movie the other day where the "heroine" was trying to get away from the life of crime and bad people she encountered daily at her job. 

She was a "stripper, trying to work her way through college."

It occurred to me how often I have heard people use this excuse in movies and in reality (this link lays it out. Excuses and all).

Yes, I have known strippers. You know strippers too, so don't point fingers.

Anyway, the whole idea of the girl just showing a little tit to get through college is just crap! Once you start, you do not stop....unless you find one of those elusive Sugar Daddies or professional athletes that wants to "wife" you.

The honest one's will tell you that, if common sense doesn't already.

Let's, as I so like to do, apply the same thing to men. 

If you were to inquire about that hunky guy I brought introduced you to at the party last week and the conversation went like:

you: Is James dating anyone?

me: No, he's been looking for a good woman for a while.

you: really?

me: yep.

you: Does he live with his parents?

me: Nope.

you: Baby Mama Drama?

me: Nope. No kids. Really looking for that special lady?

you: Does he have a brain to go with those good looks?

me: He is getting his MBA in Finance next June.

you: He's mine. If you let him near another woman before I get to him I'll kill you!

me: He spends all his time studying and working.

you: Where does my future husband work?

me: He makes his butt cheeks clap over at Jimbo's Him-bo's.

you: The male strip bar?

me: Yeah, but it's only to put himself through college. You'll see.

you: No I won't! You can tell the Toxic Avenger there is a difference between being single and wanting to get in his drawers, and putting a single in his drawers. I will have a restraining order by daybreak. Eew!

So you can see, things would be quite different.

Lady's, leave that life to those types of women. If you really have it upstairs, that money is going to make it's way to your doorstep eventually. So leave it alone.

Besides, with the economy being so bad, they will be selling that Prada bag he keeps promising you at Walgreens pretty soon.

Keep your dignity because no one else has the power to do it for you.

Watchmen Trailer

I am sort of geeking out here, but these are the WATCHMEN!

This new trailer is better than all 3 X-Men movies combined. Put on a sweater, those are chills running up your spine.

I must apologize for going off subject here, though I did promise to keep you informed on IMPORTANT Films. So look for me to promote Slumdog Millionaire, as soon as I can figure when it opens in Chicago.

Watchmen 03.06.09!

Nutty Thought

I was just watched the trailer for "Appaloosa", which looks like a pretty awesome cowboy movie. Ed Harris directs and stars, alongside Viggo Mortenson. 

Anyway, I am not going to get in the habit of movie reviews, but you should know I had the strangest thought when a certain actor's face popped up on screen.

Do you think Renee Zellweger owns a cashew factory?

A Byootiful Mind!

I am in love with John Nash. You know the person the movie "A Beautiful Mind" was based upon. Only in my real world, he is a she. 

My girlfriend is brilliant, but cannot remember ANYTHING the minute it's over,  and most especially when I am talking. It is not that she does not listen, for I could never love someone so inconsiderate. It's that she (no shitting you) just forgets about it immediately afterwards. I guess I should feel sorry for her, but most times I end up envying her X-Men, mutant-like abilities. 

Tonight we were discussing the upcoming Nicole "Are You" Kidding/"Pugh" Jackman movie "Australia." We rarely disagree on movies, with each of us introducing the other to films within our favorite genres. 

However with this particular piece of tripe, I knew I was in trouble! She is an Australian, so I knew I had very little chance of ducking my responsibility of feigning excitement in anticipation of seeing the movie. 

But then the improbable happened. I saw a 3 minute trailer for the film during Monday Night Football (and no I don't get that placement either). I was really blown away. Here look for yourself.

"Australia" trailer

Now that you have seen what made me sick enough to turn off the football game in the 3rd quarter, take a laxative, lay in bed reading for 30 minutes until I felt the twitch down below, the go to my private bathroom and shit my eyes out so that I can never witness anything like that again, you need not feel sorry for me...yet.

I felt good because my girlfriend is a reasonable, if forgetful person. So with that said, I sat her down this evening, pulled up the trailer on YouTube and let her rip. 

Oh don't you worry, I came prepared. Since I am now blind, I spent the first half of the morning picking out a seeing-eye dog. The second part of the morning was spent at the University of Chicago Hospital, trying to find a pharmacist to write me a prescription for canine laxative. I mean he, no doubt, was expected to be in the room during the YouTube viewing.

I clicked "play" and listened to my soul roll around naked on my brain's bathroom floor for the entirety of the approximately 180 seconds, the apex being the part about them "coming together, JUST AS THE WORLD BLEW APART." The clip ended and she let out a fantastic laugh.

"This is going to be awful," she opined, "I LOVE IT!"

Statements such as these have been known to flummox even the brightest of folks, but occasionally they work miracles. So as I emerged from my visual prison of darkness, I saw the  warm, welcoming smile of the woman I love. 

And something deep down inside me, maybe that soul of mine I hadn't heard from in a while, told me that perhaps, PERHAPS, I could borrow the power of forgetfulness for the night we intend to see the movie.

Oh, Wait. No, there goes that soul again, heading for the bathroom with a handful of needles. And by the way, anybody need a dog?

Incidentally, info on the very poignant animated film "I Forgot My Name" from which I borrowed the image at the top of this post can be viewed here.