All Dogs Go to Heaven

Why else would they put up with such miserable existences?

People have to stop dressing up their dogs. We are now past the point of dressing them like people. Now it's all kinds of crap. For instance:

Not just mommy's little princess, not everybody's princess. Puke bag not included.

The owner of this dog decided, after the purchase, that he wouldn't scare anyone. But Hey!, what's scarier than a big bad biker gang? A white poodle dressed as a bad-ass biker gang leader.

I think Mr. Leather would frown upon this shameful get-up.

Of course every dog that has been out working all day, just can't wait to get home and get into their bunny slippers. I don't know about you, but the look on his face leads me to believe he has, thankfully, almost memorized the walk to the taxidermist next to your hair salon on his own.

Did you think I would leave the Halloween costume folks out of this? Surely you jest.

I cannot be certain about many things, but one thing I am most certain of:

The only things worse than being chattel to the human race, is dressing as their FICTITIOUS SAVIOR. Nothing says, "I've reached the bottom of the doggie barrel", like finding out your owner is a member of the Jedi Council, aka Getting Out of Mom's Basement Therapy Group!



Lastly we have the warming devices. If it's too cold where you live for your dog to go out and walk, shit, or play? Then it's too cold where you live for you to own a dog. Period.

No use having your beloved looking like he is being reborn from one of Snuffleupagus's hemorrhoids. Rex deserves more than that.


Besides, I can think of a lot of "THINGS" that can be done with your disposable income.