Eye-dentity Crisis

If your husband, boyfriend, brother, Dad, teacher, co-worker, mailman, grocer, optometrist, cousin, wedding planner, or, God Help Us All, neighbor owns a pair of these glasses, CALL THE FBI.

If you go back through history, these seem to be the eye-wear of choice for every American Serial Killer of the past few decades. I wonder what the appeal is? 

I am serious about this. 

If you choose not to turn them in for the reward money, the least you could do is take them to Lenscrafters on your off day and help them disguise their inner darkness.

Eek!