Uggs and Kisses

Has anything that made women look so cute, ever made their feet smell so feral?

Thank goodness the autumn has returned, as it is now the proper season to wear such shoes. I spent the entire summer tasting white bile in the back of my mouth every time I saw some crazy girl in a bikini with Uggs on her feet thinking, "wow, I look like Nicole Ritchie."

Maybe, but your feet are smelling more like Lionel Ritchie, after a concert, in the mud, with no shoes on, after running a marathon, through woods, full of bear shit, after they ate stale Taco Bell from a dumpster, that had been closed during a heat wave, in the Gobi Desert, when the sun used to be closer to the earth. 

Wool-lined boots are made for cold weather, just like thermal underwear and Oscar-worthy films. If I have to tell you again, I am going to come over there and....