P. You

Do you cycle to work? 

Yeah?

Well, you kind of shouldn't!

There are many reasons, but let's discuss the most important.

You stink when you arrive...and you are in the cubicle next to me.

SOOOO WHILE....

You are thinking about the global carbon footprint.

I am thinking of the putting my foot in your....

You are thinking of how fun whizzing through traffic is.

I am thinking of how much you stink of whizz.

While you are cheesing at the thought of your "great work-out."

I am thinking of the cheese that has accumulated in the area where your thigh and balls meet.

While you can't stop smiling about that cool vegan chick you met with the skateboard.

I am trying to figure out how to tell you there are two dead, mating dragonflies stuck to your teeth.

The point of it is, you have no idea of your odor when you bicycle to work. Yes, some companies offer shower facilities, though most do not. You think just because you did not  work up a vigorous sweat, you are not ponging. 

But you kind of are.

You know how you can sit in the bathroom taking the "Dump from the Black Lagoon" without barfing? That same mechanism is obviously in play here.

So do me a favor tomorrow, catch the train. Because for gallon of fuel you save by cycling to work, I consume 50 extra gallons of water each night crying in the shower, hoping you get promoted.